You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
love makes seman taste better
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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