3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
