They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
