yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
