Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
