i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
