Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
