ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
