i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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