I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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