drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
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I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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