i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
where are my eyebrows?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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