Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
