I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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