Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize