look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i out mim tonsoeep
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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