Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
