well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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