Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
