He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
