i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
