I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
