I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
