I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize