TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
