I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
