My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
