I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
