I can text with my tongue
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Randomize
