Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
