I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
