Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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