It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
