i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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