The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
