haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
