PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
