I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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