you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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