i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
