found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
