Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
