She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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