She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Randomize
