i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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