i already hear my dad disowning me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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