Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
