Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize