I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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