there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize