do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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