it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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