Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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